


it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

by FelixTucker



Series: from clowns to scary shadows, we're all here to cry [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kinda, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Sad Oma Kokichi, Song Lyrics, based on pity party - melanie martinez, its mostly implied, not really - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:24:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelixTucker/pseuds/FelixTucker
Summary: vent ficcan be read as kokichi x any male character, not really specified but its not really a romantic story.please read the tags for content warnings
Relationships: Implied Relationship - Relationship, Not Specified, kokichi x any male character tbh
Series: from clowns to scary shadows, we're all here to cry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542115
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

_ did my invitations disappear? _ _   
_ _ why’d i put my heart on every cursive letter? _

the liar falls in love. that’s supposed to be the ending, isn’t it? the bitter thought of love. it isn’t the ending, though. it’s the beginning of a tragedy, but not the beginning of the play.

_ tell me why the hell no one is here _

_ tell me what to do to make it all feel better _

talking. everyone else is talking to each other, laughing along with their friends and having fun. not him. the liar sits alone, the liar has no friends. nobody wants to associate with someone who can’t even tell the truth, do they? so the liar sits alone in his room, hopefully someone will come get him, right?

_ maybe it’s a cruel joke on me _

_ whatever, whatever _

sometimes, he thinks they’re his friends. he thinks they trust him. but that’s a lie, isn’t it? you don’t actually think someone could trust him, do you? nobody ever does. it’s never going to be that way, is it? it’s not. everything is a lie, but if you lie enough, you’ll start to believe it.

_ just means there’s way more cake for me _

_ forever, forever _

it never lasts, does it? they were kind. they comforted him. but he lied, didn’t he? it’s always a lie. he was never sorry for anything, was he?

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

this was it. this was his breaking point. maybe shuichi was right, he will always be alone. he didn’t deserve to cry. he was the villain.. wasn’t he?

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

wow. it wasn’t that far into the game that he realized his role. he was the antagonist, the villain, the bad guy. he was made to be a villain.

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

sometimes, he wonders if they ever truly cared about him. he thought about them as he cried at night, waiting for someone to finally ask him if he was ok.

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

what if they were the liars all along? what if he was the only one that was telling the truth..?

_ maybe if i knew all of them well _

_ i wouldn’t have been trapped inside this hell that holds me _

he likes to think he knows them well enough. he knows how they tick, knows what pisses them off and what they enjoy. he knows how to ruin everything for them, but do they really know him?

_ maybe if i casted out a spell _

_ but told them decoration were in pastel ribbons _

maybe things could’ve been different if he wasn’t a villain. maybe he would’ve had millions of fans, friends, and family who loved him. sometimes he wonders if they’d love him more if certain things were different. these thoughts were emptied into the toilet along with any of the food he ate that day.

_ maybe it’s a cruel joke on me _

_ whatever, whatever _

life is a cruel joke. they never liked him much anyway, did they? not the person he cared for. the liar fell in love, didn’t he…? how tragic.

_ just means there’s way more cake for me _

_ forever, forever _

he spends all his time alone. sometimes being alone isn’t good, is it? he has a problem, and that problem requires a solution. sometimes, the solution comes in a neat little package and has a nice, sharp edge on it.

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

he knows they don’t care, but he would never cry in front of them. his smile never leaving his face, even when they threw insult after insult towards him. liars stick together, don’t they?

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

he thought about it. murder, that is. maybe if he killed someone, they would execute him quickly. a quick death for someone who would quickly be forgotten. or maybe he would become the blackened and the victim.

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

he knew her plan. she was just trying to get out, they all were. she wanted to be known, not to waste away in some school with a talking bear. he couldn’t let her, though. he had a plan too.

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

he had to do it. maybe he shouldn’t have, maybe he should have been the one dead. but he couldn’t let her get away with it, he had to be alive for his plan. 

_ i’m laughing, i’m crying _

_ it feels like i’m dying _

fake tears covered up the real ones during the execution. he told them it was a lie, it was all fake. he never cared, especially not for that idiot. the idiot that he considered a friend.. but he would never let them know that part, especially not now.

_ i’m laughing, i’m crying _

_ it feels like i’m dying _

he misses them both. he tries to move on, but that never works. maybe just a few tiny cuts, maybe that will help him..?

_ I'm laughing, i’m crying _

_ it feels like i’m dying _

_ i’m dying, i’m dying _

it didn’t help. the urges grew quickly and the next thing he knew he was sobbing and cutting deeper and deeper, the urge to do more and more until he finally passed out and died. but he had to live.. he had to make his plan perfect.

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to (want to) _

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

it was useless. there was no way he was going to be the hero everyone wanted, so why not become part of the plan for the hero. after all, kaito was already a hero, wasn’t he?

  
  


_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

sometimes the heroes of the stories end up falling. but kokichi wasn’t a hero, was he? nobody cared if he fell. he was the villain, he was supposed to fall. nobody bothered to check up on him when he didn’t come out.

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

he couldn’t deal with it. he wanted.. no, needed to make his plan work. but he wasn’t strong enough to hold back, was he? a few cuts here and there, a few meals skipped.. they wouldn’t hurt him.. right?

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

he went too far. he had to wrap his arm up carefully, making sure they weren’t seen by whoever passed him by while he walked to the infirmary. a few people passed him, most glared and looked away. none of them noticed. they never noticed him.

_ i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place _

_ i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames _

he couldn’t stand up straight. maybe it was blood loss, maybe it was the hunger. when had he last eaten? he couldn’t remember.

_ it’s my party, it’s, it’s my party _

_ it’s my party, it’s, it’s my party _

sometimes the villains aren’t actually all that bad, are they? he started to write notes to everyone else, even though he knows they won’t care enough to read them.

_ it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to _

_ cry if i want to (cry, cry, cry) _

it’s fitting for a villain like him, isn’t it? he finally got kaito to go along with his plan. he laid down on the cold metal of the hydraulic press, waiting for it to crush him. he left the notes where he knew everyone would see them. a tragic ending, really. he played the role he was supposed to play, the villain that everyone hated. at least he wasn’t boring, right?


End file.
